Vtipné nejen počítačové hlášky

"640K ought to be enough for anybody." - Bill Gates, 1981
"User" is a four letter word.
A dog's life ain't fun.
A fool and his money are sysop material.
Avoid hangovers: Stay drunken.
Be a hero: Give blood.
Blow your mind... Smoke gunpowder.
Daddy, what does FDISK do?
Design flaws travel in groups.
Do radioactive cats have 18 half-lives?
Eat right, stay fit, die anyway.
Fammi scendere, Max.
God is real... unless declared integer.
Gravity is a myth. The Earth sucks.
Happiness is a warm boot.
Health is simply the slowest way to die.
How to double your hard drive space: Delete Windows.
I'd kill Flipper for a good tuna sandwich right now.
I'm not illiterate -- my parents were married.
I don't drink water. Fish fuck in it.
I don't say much but I make a big noise.
Illiterates do it without caps.
It's better to burn out than it is to rust.
Junk: Stuff we throw away. Stuff: Junk we keep.
Keyboard missing, press F13 to continue.
Look at the bugs and be happy.
My other computer is an Ono Sendai.
Never play leapfrog with a unicorn.
Nothing ain't worth nothing but it's free.
OS/2 VirusScan -- "Windows found: Remove it? [Y,y]"
Putt knot yore trussed inn spall chequers!
Real programmers use COPY CON PROGRAM.EXE
REALITY.SYS corrupted -- reboot Universe [Y,n]?
Sex is good, but not as good as fresh sweet corn.
Sex is natural, but not if it's done right.
Smash forehead on keyboard to continue.
Television is democracy at its ugliest.
Thisoriginline­createdusingpkzip1­.10
Undocumented features will rule the Earth!
We now return to our regularly scheduled mail war.
We want the world and we want it now.
What?!? DOSSHELL isn't supposed to be a joke?
Wherever you go, there you are.
Which is better: CP/M 2.2 or OS/2 2.0?
You can't have your cake and eat it too.
Your circuit's dead, there's something wrong.
We all live in a yellow subroutine.
Too young disk in drive A: !
Warning : Your monitor is RADIOACTIVE !
Insert hamburger in drive B: !
Sorry, your system is too dirty for me ...
Fuck your secretary, not me !
Kiss my ... (keyboard) !
Insert tractor toilet paper into printer !
Microsoft Mouse : Beware of cats !
Bad command or operator.
Warning : Too many floppies in one drive !
Your hard disk has been formatted ...
There is something rotten in your computer !
External Error : INTELLIGENCE not found !
Always make a backup copy of your sex partner !
ERROR !!! Press quickly ALT-CTRL-DEL !
Critical ERROR : Use hammer.
Insert floppy disc in drive D:
Do you speak in TurboPascal ?
Sorry, but ... do you have a brain ?!?
Your Hard Disc is dead, but Eddie lives!
Remove the CRT of monitor !
ATENTION ! RAM is write - protected !!!
Eddie lives...allready in this time !
Shut power down & press any key !
All protective devices failed, call GhostBusters
ATENTION!: High voltage on keyboard !
Close eyes for safety reasons.
All viruses found.
Your mouse is hungry!
Memory failed. Use paper.
All rights released.
This Hard disk is write only.
WARNING ! Smog in drive Q:
Your Hard disk went soft.
Your coprocessor needs a bath !
This program is not good. Try another one.
File not found - Should I fake it ?

Další série:
Procesor nenalezen. Má jej systém WINDOWS emulovat??
Je nutno restaurovat registr. Doporučujeme totéž i obsluze!
Probíhá defragmentace EPROM s BIOSem. Bude to chvíli trvat...
Press F13 to continue...
Pozor!!! Monitor je napaden virem!!!
Katastrofický nedostatek systémových zdrojů
...Vložte další procesor a stiskněte ENTER!
Keyboard not present. Press ENTER to continue...
Nový program - WIN.COM snižuje výkon systému.
Mouse is hungry. Insert cheese in drive A: and press ENTER when ready!!!
Došlo k vyjímce na adrese 3BAA 31EB. Počítač se asi ztratí.
Detekován nový hardware - sí?ový spínač. Vložte instalační CD-ROM 15
Nyní se připravuje poslední restart tohoto počítače...
Pokud při běhu systému stále dochází k chybám, otevřete okno a použijte hardwarové urychlení ...
Katastrofická chyba nastala při pokusu o sdělení kódu chyby číslo 3516756427.
Systém WINDOWS nenastartuje zcela, po restartu 3x stiskněte RESET.
FATAL ERROR - Windows found!!! Format drive now??? (Y/Y)
Pevný disk neobsahuje žádnou chybu! Je nutno spustit SCANDISK.
Press any key to continue or any key to quit...
Port pro tiskárnu nenalezen, použijte tužku a papír!!!
To shut down your system type "WIN"...
Připravuje se průvodce spuštěním tohoto počítače. Prosím čekejte...
BRUTAL ERROR - Windows starting. Press RESET to continue.

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